A bit of a rant on Motherhood

I have come to the conclusion that the moment you become a mother, everyone around you feels that it is their duty to judge you on a more personal level and give you their $.02 at every turn.  Beyond being exhausted because I have an infant child, the unsolicited advice from everyone is exponentially more exhausting.

From the moment I got pregnant I started getting advice from everyone.  No matter how well intentioned, it just gets to the point where you start to wonder what the hell people think of you.  From the moment I got the plus sign on pregnancy test, I started to hear, “you need to eat better, drink more water, take your vitamins, don’t stand/sit too long, don’t carry heavy things, when are you going to stop driving/working, what hospital are you giving birth at, a natural birth/C-section/medicated birth is the best way to go” etc, etc, etc.  Then when I had the baby it became “are you going to breastfeed, why aren’t you breastfeeding, stop breastfeeding, when are you going to start solids, have him sleep in your room/why is he sleeping in your room, he sleeps where(?!), when are you moving him to his room, you’re spoiling him, don’t carry him too much you’ll regret it, take him out with you/don’t take him out with you, cover him up/isn’t he hot?”

A lot of them, particularly about breastfeeding are painful because as much as I wanted to exclusively breastfeed my son, I just couldn’t.  I tried, I cried, I fought with doctors, consulted lactation consultants, breastfeeding educators, La Leche League, and everyone I could think of, but I just didn’t have the necessary supply to feed my son.  So that very personal (personal because really, who’s business is it how you feed your child anyway, except for your doctors?!) “are you still breastfeeding” question, no matter how well intentioned, just stuck the dagger in my heart that much further.  I have never in my life – since becoming an adult – had so many people tell me what to do as if I’m some kind of child that has no clue and just totally intruded on my life as if they have every right to, when frankly they don’t.  Yes, this is my first child, but I have an idea of what it is to care for a child and how I would like to raise my child, thankyouverymuch!  I’ve done the research, I’ve read the books, I’ve consulted with my doctors, my husband, my doula, childbirth educators, and have read every number of books available out there.  I’m not an idiot people, stop treating me like one!

I would further like to add that there is no one way to raise a child.  What worked for you may not work for me, just like breastfeeding.  I have plenty of friends who were able to exclusively breastfeed well into when they started solids, and then continued to breastfeed for a year or two, yet I couldn’t from the start.  Not everyone is the same people!  I happen to enjoy having my son sleep with me because I feel that much closer to him and it actually helps us both sleep. I happen to love carrying/wearing my child, because he feels secure there, and I feel secure having him there.  Isn’t it limiting him in any way?  No!  He’s meeting his milestones, and is an incredibly happy baby, so I’m doing something right!  Cloth diapering?  Yes please!  Am I elbow deep in poo?  No more than I would be if I was using disposables AND I’m saving a shitton of money, thankyouverymuch!  This is what works for me!  If it’s not what you want to do, fine, then don’t do it, but who are you to try to convince me to do things your way or to judge me for doing things differently then you?

Honestly, it’s just so exhausting to hear this same stuff every.single.day.  And the worst part is that the family that is supposed to be supporting you in your parenting adventures are the ones who judge the most.  It really is exhausting, disheartening and maddening.  So if you’re reading this and you’re family of a new mother, please stop with the unsolicited advice.  Just don’t do it, because as well intentioned as you mean to be, it really isn’t helping.

 
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Blog At A Crossroads

Prior to having the baby, I would read knitblogs where women would explain how they only had time to knit one row from a sweater or a sock because the baby was too demanding and I always thought, “how hard can it be?!  One row, that’s like 5 minutes!” Well, I get it now. My knitting needles sit in the same cup I store them in. My spinning wheel has been gathering nothing but dust and is truly in a sad state right now. Life with baby is really all about baby and that’s it! I’m not saying that this is a bad thing because this little guy is just a bundle of fun and joy, it just means life is different at the moment. Instead of my days being busy with work and coming home to knit, my days are busy with baby chores: feed the baby, play with baby, take baby to appointments, change & clean baby’s diapers (I’m cloth diapering), cook and puree baby’s food, etc. Again, not bad, just busy in another way, but more so because pre-baby I would at least get some time to relax and unwind when I got home from work.  The relax and unwind portion of my day now happens about 10 minutes prior to passing out.

So, I’m a bit torn with what to do with this blog. It’s been a long road, it’s gone through several moves and yet it still survives so I don’t want to give it up but obviously there isn’t much knitting content to post because there is no knitting going on. It also wouldn’t be the first time the blog is put on hiatus because of life’s distractions, but I am really feeling the urge to blog about mommyhood and how my days are spent. So my dilemma is this: should I start a mommy blog and separate my knitting life and mommy life, or should I integrate the two here on this site? I’m thinking of going the latter route, but would love some input.

Knit or Not-Knit?

I just found the most amazing baby sweater pattern ever, and I would love to knit it for my little man, BUT we’re basically already in February, in South Florida, and it’s not really cold here at all.  We’ve already had 3 days of under 50 degree temperatures.  I think starting a project like this for it to fit him now is tempting fate.  It will probably never get cold again if I do, but it is so incredibly adorable.  What should I do, knit it in a bigger size for next year, or tempt fate?

For reference, it’s from DROPS Design and the pattern is the McDreamy sweater.  Tell me this isn’t the cutest sweater ever?!

McDreamy Sweater from DROPS Design

Nursing Necklace

IMG_4365Life has been even busier now that I’m a mom.  I swear it seems like I have less time now being a stay at home mom to do things than when I worked outside of the house.  I do want to make more time though to update this blog and to start crafting again.  I’ve actually been thinking a lot about the upcoming Miami winter, which doesn’t really say much because it is Miami, so basically that means that it’ll go from hellishly hot to comfortable, and there may be a day or three of uncomfortable cold.  I do have one knit sweater for him that should fit him just right come winter, but I’m thinking I may need to knit him another sweater and maybe a pair fo socks.  There was some cute pullovers I saw on Gap’s website that I can easily replicate, so I may do just that.  And the beauty of knitting is when he outgrows the sweater, I can always frog it and recycle the yarn into another project.

I actually do have a crochet project that I finished lately.  I had seen crocheted necklaces that could be used when nursing to for distractable babies to keep the occupied and focued on nursing and my son has gotten into the habit lately of grabbing onto my hair when he’s in my arms.  It happens when I’m nursing him, carrying him, if I pick him up to put him in his carrier, bouncer, swing, the tub, whatever.  It’s kind of annoying and painful when he does this I could use this to distract his fingers and would make a good teether for when that starts, so I decided to make one.  I crocheted a few wood balls, and gave him a dangly circle thing and viola!  We have a necklace for baby that looks nice on mommy.

I’m considering making these and selling them on Etsy for a little extra money, I’m just not sure if there would be an interest.

 

He’s Here!!!!

Sebastian & Daddy

It’s been a wild 2 months!  Those of you who follow me on Facebook know that the baby is here, and those who don’t I’m sure should have guessed it by now.  I just wanted to share my birth story with you all.

It all started when I went to my doctors appointment on July 23. I was ordered to have an ultrasound to find out how big the baby was – something I was considering denying because I thought he was going to be on the bigger side and was trying to avoid a c-section. It ended up being that he was frank breech and I was told that since he was breech the only way he would be delivered was via c-section. I was devastated after that! I cried for two days, went to see a chiropractor for the Webster maneuver and was hoping that by my appointment the following Tuesday that he would have flipped. Well Friday morning, I was in bed and I turned over to get more comfortable, stretched my legs, and my water broke. It was 6:38 am when this happened. I got up and started gushing all the way to the bathroom when contraction came on. They were coming strong and about every 5 minutes, so I called my doula – who knew the situation already – got dressed and went to the hospital. I was already 1 cm dilated and 100% effaced by the time I got there – 1 hour after my water broke. They also performed an ultrasound to check position, and I was still hoping that he would have turned but he didn’t. I was sent to pre-OP and was prepped for a section that would take place at 10am. The baby was born at 11:08am. It’s took me a few days to catch up to the sequence of events – from the bad news, to the water breaking and going into full on labor, to the c-section that was performed so quickly in a non-emergency manner, and the birth of my amazing son.

It’s amazing how the universe works and how things happen for a reason because this could have gone in so many different ways and it happened so perfectly.  Even though I was devastated with the news of the baby being breech, I’ve come to realize things happen for a reason and in the end it all worked out perfectly. Even though I didn’t get the labor I wanted, I was still able to experience what labor was like and have an amazing baby who is perfect! Both of us are healthy, safe and not traumatized, which is the most important part.

Maternity Pictures

This is a bit late, but I still wanted to share.  We went and took some maternity pictures on the 4th of July at 34 weeks.  My husband being the photographer – because he’s pretty freaking awesome, and we need to save some money.  Below are some of the pictures I know I will cherish forever.

 

 

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Nesting like MAD!!!

I’m getting closer to my due date, and nesting is in full effect!  If I were to explain to you how much I have done to prepare for this little one, you would think I was nuts.  I’ll keep it short.

Nursery is done.  We moved all the stuff that was in that room (it was our office/storage room) out and either found a place for it, or moved it into temporary location until we have time for a garage sale.  We painted, set up the crib and arranged furniture to where we would like it to go.  I reupholstered an old glider we had that really needed an uplift.  I’m currently washing all of his clothes in preparation for when he joins us.  I’ve washed all his sheets and set it up in the crib awaiting his arrival.

I’ve also ordered my first stash of cloth diapers.  They should be here tomorrow.  I’ve decided for ecological and financial reasons to go with cloth.  Not to mention, I’m not too thrilled about the idea of putting plastic on my little boy in the middle of a South Florida summer, so cotton prefolds with wraps it is!  If there are any other cloth diapering mama’s out there, I am very new to this and could use all the tips I can get.  I recently signed up at diaperswappers.com so I could chat with other cloth diapering mama’s out there and get advice and tips.

My husband is also nesting.  He’s been feeding off my urge to prepare and we’ve totally repainted the entire house, which is something we wanted to do anyway.  He’s also been slowly been fixing up the kitchen.  The house looks amazing!  I just need to give it a good scrub and maintain until the little one arrives and we’re all set.  The biggest hurdle with this is how I feel right now.  I am so exhausted all the time.  Carrying this little man around is no joke!  So far I’ve had swelling in my ankles and feet, extreme fatigue, backaches and indigestion.  I’m taking my doula’s tip and I picked up some papaya pills and will be giving that a shot, because it can get pretty bad.  And oh my Goddess the heaviness is unreal!!!

But really though, I shouldn’t complain too much.  I’ve had it fairly easy since I’ve had absolutely no nausea, and I just recently started feeling bad.  My first two trimesteres were a breeze – it’s just the third that’s been a bit rough.  It’ll just be a few more weeks though and then I get to meet my little man, so I can deal with it.

As for knitting content – which I have totally neglected talking about in the post – I actually don’t have any updates because I haven’t knit anything since the sweater.  I’m afraid to go too nuts on knit content considering he’s only going to wear them a few short weeks and then they will no longer fit, and I also have a very small window of when it’ll be cold enough to wear warm clothes here anyway so it may be better for me to knit on demand.  It really doesn’t take me long to knit baby clothes, so that should be ok.  I have the few starter items and anything else I can knit as I need.